Monday 18 October 2010

What makes for a happy marriage?

According to Dr. John Gottman, a sound relationship house is based on the following seven elements:

Build Love Maps:
How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her worries, stresses, joys, and dreams?

Share Fondness and Admiration:
The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)

Turn Towards:
State your needs, be aware of bids and turn towards them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.

The Positive Perspective:
The presence of positive affect in problem-solving discussions and the success of repair attempts.

Manage Conflict:
We use the term “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict because relationship conflict is natural and it has functional, positive aspects. Understand the critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.

Make Life Dreams Come True:
Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her dreams, values, convictions and aspirations.

Create Shared Meaning:
Understand important dreams, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.

There but for God's grace we all go....

Matthew 19:11-12
Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it."

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