It has now been one week since my brother's suicide. It has been a week filled with grief, sadness, and many questions mixed in with some clear expressions of God's grace.
In the midst of all of the trips to the hospital morgue, the Medical Examiner's Office, the police station, the funeral home, my brother's apartment (& other places) some wonderful friends have literally been God's grace with flesh on & I can't thank them enough.
There has also been the sense that even in the midst of suffering & heart-aching questions God's grace has been ever-present.
I am reminded of Habakkuk who wrote so many years ago -
Though the cherry trees don't blossom
and the strawberries don't ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
and the cattle barns empty,
I'm singing joyful praise to God.
I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God's Rule to prevail,
I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
I feel like I'm king of the mountain!